A Crazy November

This November has been insanely busy.  I had a great time in DC but the conference and traveling across the pond really took it out of me.  Washington is a beautiful city.  I stayed with old friends which was a great escape from the conference in the evenings.  The weather was beautiful so I took many walks through the city down to the Capitol building and memorials.  I had been to DC when I was 19 I think, but my perspective on life has changed so much since then.  Back then I wasn't into academics at all.  I could've cared less about school.  So thinking through this space in terms of social and political theory makes it different.  In particular, it was very moving for me to be in my home nation's capitol and to come face to face with what many Americans eat and breath growing up.  The founding fathers, Lincoln, WWII, Vietnam, the whole notion of American Democracy - being there again with some distance living in a country with a different set of socio-political dispositions raised a whole series of questions and reflections.  

I felt a tremendous sense of homesickness which I have not felt in some time. The last time I visited the US I felt a bit out of place.  It had been two and a half years at that point and I was beginning to lose the sense of home.  It's now been almost four years and for some reason DC just struck a cord in me somewhere.  Not only because the monuments area is truly magnificent, but because this is one of the most powerful collection of symbols and icons of American identity.  I am and will always probably be moved by this nation's democratic ideals and ambitions - ambitions that have always been held out in front of future generations to be lived out.  The Lincoln Memorial captures this as well as any, for Lincoln was one who recognized the contradiction in the founding fathers' words - "all men are created equal."  In American society in the 19th century slavery held out a state of exception for some men's oppression of others.  Lincoln challenged this contradiction as an opportunity to grow into the future the founding fathers envisioned, but failed themselves to live up to.  Their slave holding was not an example to follow, but a contradiction to resolve in terms of justice and equality for all.  In the twentieth century this call to justice for all was held out again by Martin Luther King Jr.  And again the question of equality was raised in terms of gender.  "All men" had to be re-iterated as all humankind.   Today, I think we must ask again what we have lost sight of as well as what we have still to live out.  What is American democracy's relation to religion?  What are its basic power relations both intrasystematically in relation to itself - i.e. the balance of powers?  as well as extrasystematically - i.e. in its relation to the individuals it governs and other nations?  

Does America live up to it's ideals?  Not always.  But that it has not yet given up on the belief in achieving a better future gives me hope that leaders will continue to rise and call American's to continue to live up to the ideals set forth in its constitution.  The two great threats I believe western democracy faces today are cynicism and bigotry.  Cynicism can't hope.  It's very different than a critical hope, or a doubting faith.  Doubt is not disbelief.  We may rightly question governments and those in power with a bit of criticism, but this is not to say we should abandon all hope for the future use of power.  That is what is being felt about America these days it seems to me.  There is a cynical hopelessness creeping in that cuts against the core I love so much about America.  Bigotry, however, is just as dangerous.  Bigotry is often felt in racial prejudices because they are so hard to overcome.  Bigotry however, is much different than an unwarranted belief.  We may be wrong about people, but that is not to say we are bigots.  Bigots don't change because bigots don't debate.  They aren't open to changing how they see the world.  They are the ultimate in arrogance and the exact opposite of humility.  In order to learn you have to be humble.  It's hard to admit when you're wrong, or that you don't know as much as you think you do.  This is what Socrates was doing all the time, asking questions of people until they would admit their need to learn.  He challenged assumptions and the unsaid things that people live out, no matter how unwise.  It is fare to be critical of American policies and to debate and get involved in change.  But I am deeply concerned that the unifying feeling of togetherness which all nations (much like Big-Brother contestants) crave is being fueled by the blinding power of cynical and bigoted hate rather than informed and hopeful critical debate.  Hating America is becoming a kind of cultural Zeitgeist which defines and unifies against a common foe.  This concerns me deeply because it seems that hating America is just one long line of hate in human history - hating England, hating people of color, hating gay people, hating Evangelicals, hating liberals, hating Jews, hating... fill in the blank.  Maybe I can put this another way.  Maybe it's time we really ask again what it means to "love your enemies" and why Jesus might have said such a counter cultural thing in a world where hate is the status quo.   

Of course, the step off the plane is somehow a larger step. The sense of space and wealth really overwhelmed me this time.  Everything is huge - the cars, the streets, the food, it's a land of luxury and maybe it's just living student life for so long, but people seem to take so much for granted.  I know I certainly did while living there.  But in some ways, there is a kind of carefree attitude that embodies the place as a result of its space and size. In the monuments area from the Capitol building up through to Lincoln Memorial hundreds of young couples, families and kids run and play in almost total abandon.  It was like a huge park for people to play within and many did.

Now it's back to the grind.  Many more pages of dissertation to write, and yes, the new website took a bit of time as well.  But, I'm much happier with the new set up here.  One of the other things I realized is that very few people know what or why I do what I do.  People guess, but I hope I'll be able to do a better job of explaining my research topics and maybe even aspects of my dissertation in more "real life" terms here in the future.  I have one of those personalities that likes to hide, but maybe it's time I come out of my shell a bit more.  We'll see.  Old patterns are hard to break, but I do find it interesting how a webspace can be a place to dream and re-envision ourselves a bit.